augat.org Brenna The Angel

It's probably no surprise that Easter has become my favorite Holiday. On this day we remember that Jesus defeated death by His Resurrection. What does this mean for me and my family? Even though death physically separates us from Brenna, we know that it will not be forever. There will be a day when we will be reunited with Brenna. I think about that reunion every day. It is Jesus and His Resurrection that will make that day a reality for our family. That is what Easter means for our family.

On a slightly different topic. I really enjoyed Elder Dallin H. Oaks talk on priesthood blessings and healing the sick. I have given Brenna many priesthood blessings. She has benefited from these blessings and I feel that it has helped her and even extended her life. However, there are times when I ask myself why I could not heal her completely and save her from death. Was I not worthy enough? Did I not exercise enough faith? General Conference and specifically Elder Oaks helped me realize a few important things. There was an abundance of faith to heal Brenna when I consider the following...

• the many people (family and friends) that have prayed and fasted for her
• the many times she has been on the temple prayer roll
• the couple of times that I know of where she had been on the prayer roll of the First Presidency (Gordon B. Hinckley, Thomas S. Monson, James E. Faust)

There is no doubt in my mind that there was enough faith. Was I worthy? I am by no means perfect, but I feel that I try to live the Gospel as best I can. I always feel that there is room for improvement. We all have sin and we all fall short of the Glory of God. Where I fall short, I have my Saviour to make up for the difference as long as I repent and improve. 

Elder Oaks reminded me that It was Brenna's time to return to her Heavenly Father. It was His Will.

So knowing that it was the will of Heavenly Father that she return to Him and knowing that I will see Brenna again because of Jesus Christ and His Resurrection helps lift the burden of her death. The message of Easter brings peace and hope in our home.

Now, there is not a moment that goes by where I don’t mourn the loss of my daughter. But because of the Resurrection, Joseph Smith said, that “we do not mourn as those without hope.” Brigham Young added, “But could we have knowledge and see into eternity, if we were perfectly free from the weakness, blindness, and lethargy with which we are clothed in the flesh, we should have no disposition to weep or mourn (DBY, 370). All of us can become renewed and strengthened by the blessings of the Resurrection. The sons of Mosiah demonstrated this courage. Their conviction of the future resurrection of Jesus gave them courage to face death with no fear. The scriptures record, “They never did look upon death with any degree of terror, for their hope and views of Christ and the resurrection; therefore, death was swallowed up to them by the victory of Christ over it” (Alma 27:28). 

From the first time that Brenna slipped into a semi unconscious state (Brenna was in a semi coma for about 2 weeks the first time) and during the several times it happened to her up until her passing, I can't help but think that Brenna was embraced by God's love. And every time but the last time she came back to us.

The following is from her Uncle Karl's talk at her funeral. 

"The lord states in D&C 6: 20:

Today we celebrated Brenna's 17th birthday by going to the Jordan River Temple. We always have a unique and spiritual experience when we go on Brenna's birthday; probably because we know Brenna is with us. Today, the entire session was not only in audio/video but also in sign language since there was a big group of deaf people. It was amazing and the deaf people were a great example to me. I'm sure Brenna loved it.

Happy Birthday Brenna! We love and miss you.

It has been 3 years since Brenna left us. I have looked at this several ways...

I am 3 years closer to seeing her.

She has been on her mission for 3 years and I don't know when she'll be home. She does not write often.

It has been 3 years since Brenna has finished her time in mortality and has returned home to "a state of happiness...a state of peace" where she has been resting from all her "troubles, and from all care, and sorrow". What a great feeling for her and her parents to know that she passed the tests of mortality. As her father, I don't worry about where she is or what she is doing or how she is feeling.

She is 3 years closer to her Resurrection.

Still...It really hasn't gotten any easier without Brenna. I miss her terribly. But I am so grateful for the "Plan of Happiness" and my knowledge and testimony of this plan. I am grateful for eternal families and that Brenna continues to be a part of our family and will be forever. I am grateful for our Savior, Jesus Christ, and His Atonement and Resurrection that makes eternal families possible.

Brenna, I love you and can't wait to hold you in my arms again.